WITCH IN A CAVE
Featured artwork by Hillaree Hamblin
2020 introduced me to my shadow and my wounded self. After two straight years of therapy, I’ve developed better coping tools when I feel triggered and I have brought my unconscious desires and issues to the forefront. Astrologically, I knew my Chiron in Leo was placed smack dab in the middle of my first house of self. Chiron went retrograde in July and will be affecting us through December 15. Often times this placement has translated into me feeling like my talents have been overlooked or that I have never really fully had a chance to shine. My gift to help and inspire others stems from my creativity but I have a tendency to sabotage the fun with self-esteem issues. This is my ever-evolving relationship with myself! Believe me, my privilege has put me in the luckiest situations and I am grateful for everything I have in this life. I don’t take the opportunities for granted. But it is sort of like that Britney Spears song, “Isn't she lovely, this Hollywood girl? And they say …. She's so lucky, she's a star! But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking! If there's nothing missing in my life … Then why do these tears come at night?” I don’t like experiencing chronic dissatisfaction and unfulfillment. In order to overcome these self-empowerment issues, I have to be in constant balance with my inner child and art.
My mother's side of the family’s motto is “they shine in darkness” meaning that we carry the light with us and we know how to maintain it in tough situations. But what about the darkness?! She’s got a dark side too! My life isn’t a life laugh love novel and it never has been! What about bb goth Cath?! Isn’t this what shadow work is all about? I must integrate both sides of myself.
My third regression of the year took place in late August. The first was April, the second in May and then I decided to take a break for a few months. July was too heartbreaking to be hypnotized. The beginning of August started to get things back on track, especially that Lions Gate portal! She was a powerful one. Check out Follow The Sun for content from August.
I decided that for my third journey with Aja, my intentions were to remove any negative attachments that I may be blind to. Was there anything I was still holding on to that I should let go of?
This regression was not like the others. I didn’t know where I was being lead to. What I was seeking hadn’t revealed itself to me yet. My intentions weren’t vague, I just had to trust my void. At last! Here I was again spiraling deep into my mind’s eye. There were seagulls in the background. I finally opened my eyes and I knew exactly where I was. I was lying on my back on the rocky sands of First Beach on the Quileute reservation and land in what is known today as La Push, Washington. The last time I was here was in 2010. Of course I can’t bring up this reservation and beach without mentioning the Twilight saga. Yes, we were obsessed. We as in my sister and I. My family actually visited Forks. The white tree was even in this meditative journey! It was huge …. like I remember. You can estimate it’s scale in the left photo above. Aja told us to look for a treasure chest that had three items I’d needed to take with me to my past life. There was a door in the ocean. If I walked out maybe 10 steps, I would get there. First, I had to open the chest. I was nervous … what was inside? Why was I in Forks, Washington?!
The lid wasn’t heavy and opened right up. My eyes widened. There was a dagger, a red ruby, and a chalice covered in jewels. Everything was so ornate. I was running out of time. Aja was ready for us to walk through the door. I rose to my feet and proceed towards the waves. Greet your threshold high priestess. 3 items in tow, I turned the knob and entered a very dark alley that looked underground. Walking into dark spaces always makes me uncomfortable at first because my eyes take some time to adjust to the different light levels. I could tell there was a faint yellow-orange light down the way. I decided to follow it. The small light turned into a bonfire and the hallway turned into a sea cave. My hair grew down to my hips, my feet were bare, and my clothes were worn. I was a witch living in a cave! I felt beautiful and free. I wasn’t old and wrinkly. It felt like no one knew who I was. I could hear the ocean close by and I saw a water stream. Over the bonfire hung a cauldron. I could feel sensuality brewing. I was making a love spell and it contained one special ingredient — my sacred menstruation blood. I reclaim my period! I honor the moon cycle! I poured the water from the cauldron to my gemed chalice. I didn’t drink it … I actually didn’t do anything with it. Could this be an extension from what the Akashic records were coming through with last month?? Agh …. I was too late. Water began to rush in … the cave was about to flood. I saw a small boat leaned up against the rock wall, docked it, and climbed in. Luckily, I made it out just before drowning. I decided to stand until I reached my next destination. This gave me major 6 of swords energy much like the image featured here. I sailed towards another familiar place, Cabo San Lucas. 6 of swords often indicates moving on and away from something or taking a vacation. Sometimes it means change you didn’t necessarily prepare for and finding happiness in new things.
The last time I was in Cabo I was attending a wedding, arguably the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever been to! The close friends of the bride and groom stayed in a huge vacation rental home in Pedregal. I stayed in a room upstairs with a wonderful window and view. Upon reaching land, I immediately ran up to Villa Los Geckos. No one was home and the house was empty. Something didn’t feel right …. it felt like a horror film. I remembered my dagger from the treasure chest. The first thing I did was walk up the stairs to the room I stayed in. Opening the door gave me the biggest chills but I was prepared to confront evil.
The room was the same as it was in 2016. But those inside it … weren’t human. They were all the men of my life who sexually assaulted me but they were portrayed as anime characters. Walking animation. To be specific, they resembled “The Baby” from Naoki Urasawa's Monster. All of them rushed towards me and I pulled out my dagger as quick as I could. It ended it right then and there. There wasn’t any blood, only white light. They all just vanished as if they were dust. Aja said to look out the nearest window. I saw myself, smiling as a goddess, floating in the sky. I felt lighter, safe, and protected.