PRINCESS IN A TOWER
Photo by Blair Trusdell
The start of quarantine was a strange time for all of us. We couldn’t make sense of the world just yet. Saturn in Aquarius started on March 21st and gave us an idea of what our future could (and will) look like: remote working, social distancing, protests for social reform, progressive politics, dismantling the old structures, implementing enhanced + precautionary health measures, etc. I wasn’t unemployed but I was barely making my rent and holding on to hope that I’d start my new full-time remote job with a new global deposition company (I was hired the week before quarantine started).
To distract me from going insane, I decided to finally go inwards. Pluto’s retrograde started on April 29, 2019. When it started I had a deep calling to explore my roots, my ancestors, and my past life realms. Scorpio is my fourth house. I struggle, live, and thrive with mental illness and over the last year, I’ve been anxious to try hypnotherapy. I wanted to access the deepest parts of myself. This was my first experience venturing into my past lives, under the guidance of Aja Daashuur, The Spirit Guide Coach, a Medium, certified Past Life Regression Integrator and founder of Spirit House Collective.
Aja best describes past life regression as “a gentle form of hypnotherapy which takes an individual back through time to their previous lives or incarnations by accessing memories and experiences that are normally hidden in their subconscious mind. This process is a wonderful way to access the root of current patterns, fear, anxiety, and feelings of unworthiness. By accessing past life memories, we are able to connect to closure and move forward with love and confidence.”
My real intentions: Full disclosure — I’ve always been a strange and unusual girl. Very extraordinary with a life full of ghoulfriends. I’d been feeling an unexplainable shiver go up and down my spine whenever I thought of him. “He” was a dark one. Sir Diablo, if you will. His penetrating gaze and fancy shoes. I was entangled instantly. We first met in a dream in early 2019. I saw the two of us smiling and adoring pigeons in a public square in Paris. Then I saw him once more, this time in a large gallery space with white walls and cool lighting. After waking up, I immediately applied to every open part-time arts position in the city. I didn’t know exactly why I was called into that one. But it worked … I started working there less than two months later.
And there he was. The man in my dreams worked at the museum I’d just started working at. There was something about him and that place I couldn’t quite shake off. Everyone who worked there was secretly obsessive. It had an off-putting vibe. The people loved him, even if they didn’t want to. His humor matched his level of charisma. The feeling was hypnotic-like it bewitched my mind, body, and soul. God — in hindsight … I was inviting in such chaos brilliantly painted as a mythological match made in hell. He was too familiar and he had a pattern of coming back even after I stopped working there. I decided to ask spirit to show me my past life with this person. If I had one? I knew for sure that the connection was from long ago but it couldn’t resurrect in this lifetime.
The regression: It started in my godparent’s house in South Austin. I walked down their staircase to enter the doorway that led me into ~what was~ … When I walked through the door, I knew I had been here before. It was the descending staircase in the bell tower of Nieuwe Kerk in Delft, Netherlands. William of Orange is buried there along with many others. It was fascinating because I started to develop my curiosity about the color orange. I became obsessed and started to associate it with futuristic Plutonian energy. This circles back to Pluto in my 4th house. The fourth house in astrology represents the roots, family, and the home of our lives. It is the zone of our genetic inheritance. We have to learn to forgive our past to look to the future.
Here are old photos from the church:
When I got to the bottom of the staircase, I saw a glimpse of light coming from a door opening. There was a small grey dog waiting to escort me to a grassy field. I walked out to the terrace and realized where I was. It was Themyscira, the mythical island where Wonder Woman (Goddess Diana) was born. In a world torn by war, Themyscira, previously known as Paradise Island and the Amazon Isles, is a place of no men and no columns. I was wearing a long white gown with gold trim. I could see Amazonian warriors in the distance. My body started to laugh, I thought of my dear friend Erin telling me years ago that I had an Amazonian body. Was she joking about my past life?!!?!
As I was looking to the horizon, I could feel the breeze and taste the salt from the sea. I felt deeply lonely. Aja said she wasn’t interested in regality due to that being closely tied with the ego. But this felt like my sovereignty (crown chakra) was fading or blocked. I wasn’t proud or empowered in my tower, I felt almost locked away. That is when the regression started to take a turn. She instructed all of us on the Zoom call to greet the person or thing we were looking for. All I could see was a small boat and someone sailing towards the island. This person certainly wasn’t coming to save me. If need be, I had Amazonian warriors guarding me. It looked like they were lost too. Then that was it — Aja took the group back to the present time. Once I opened my eyes and I took a deep breath, I started to hear the song “Hearing Damage” by Thom Yorke in my head.
Look at this album cover! It is almost identical to the scene in my past life regression. One of the big symbols of 2020 for me has been dragons. They are everywhere! Both in real life and also in my spiritual education plane: Goddess Sophia is personified wisdom, the dragon. I am currently reading The Sophia Code: A Living Transmission From The Sophia Dragon Tribe by Kaia Ra. I hope to have a review of the book up soon. It’s been deeply transformative for me. My middle name is Sophia, I’ve always gravitated towards the Hagia Sophia mosque in Istanbul in my dreams, and now I understand why I claimed 2020 as the year of dragons. It was random for me! Like even dragon fruit is the fruit of the year! Haha, I always have a fruit of the year. This connection I had to this person had been confirmed. I was the Amazonian princess and he was a sailor. I’m mad because he even told me I was “the princess” when we first met. *Rolls Ojos* He definitely dressed like a sailor. He drank like a sailor. He cursed like a sailor. I don’t think any of this is a coincidence.
Life continues to present interesting evidence to me. There is a sense of relief knowing that the depth of this connection was felt. I try to understand all of the symbols and allegories life throws. I was impressed with Aja’s guidance and with how aligned everything was. I highly recommend everyone participate in her The Story of You - Doorway to Past Shelves online workshop. I can’t wait for the next one!
DC Comics / (Warner Bros. Pictures / Warner Bros. Pictures)