My grandmother sent me this in the mail a few weeks ago and it is starting to make more sense:
What is your pain? It is the experience of not receiving what you most need or deserve. It is a place of emptiness where you feel sharply the absence of the love you most desire. To go back to that place is hard, because you are confronted there with your wounds as well as with your powerlessness to heal yourself. You are so afraid of that place that you think of it as a place of death. Your instinct for survival makes you run away and go looking for something else that can give you a sense of at-homeless, even though you know well that it can't be found out in the world.
You have to begin to trust that your experience is not the finally experience, that beyond it is a place where you are being held in love. As long as you do not trust that place beyond your emptiness, you can not safely (re)enter the place of pain.
So you have to into the place of your pain with the knowledge in your heart that you have already found the new place. You have already tasted some of its fruits. The more roots you have in the new place, the more capable you are of mourning the loss of the old place and letting go of the pain that lies there. You cannot mourn something that has not died. Still, the old pains, attachments, and desires that once meant so much to you need to be buried.
You have to weep over your lost pains so that they can gradually leave you and you can become free to live fully in the new place without melancholy or homesickness.